Saturday, March 30, 2013

Rules Broken

M and I both left another set of rules behind today.  Huh.  That transformation thing again.  lol

There was no drama.  No angst.  Maybe a little individual discomfort, but for the most part, it just made sense and seemed natural.  That's what made me pause and consider tonight.

For the right One at the right time...rules are broken.  One after another after another.  Each one seemingly easier than that last.  The boundaries and restrictions that we wrapped around ourselves in a protective cocoon to keep everything orderly and potential chaos at bay start to feel clumsy and unnecessary.  Instead of shielding us, they begin to strangle the potential we have as individuals and as a couple.  With honesty, trust, and yeah...faith and hope, we let go.  Of the habits that hold us back.  Of the pieces of fear we drag behind us.  So that we can find all we possibly can in Our tomorrow.

I don't know if when M first mentioned transformation to me that He expected all of this.  I know I didn't.  At the time, I was still rediscovering basic hope again.  I was still focused in the moment, not thinking much of tomorrows.  He knew even then, that I'd never be the same again.  I wonder if He expected to change as part of journey as well.

I think back on the woman I was 10 years ago.  How hard I fought to find me again.  How much courage I'd found once I let my warrior free to be strong.  How sure I was that I'd never find another Man who could touch my soul.  How very alone I was.

Despite 40 years of practice, I am still discovering all I am capable of and all I could be.  The rules I put in place long ago, have been tossed aside because I chose the risky path of love and growth.  The thrill is heady.  The growing pains sometimes brutal.  But every time I stop and look around, I find myself better than I was.  I couldn't have gotten this far without M in my life over the last year.  His patience, his intelligence, his strength have all open doors for me that I thought were long shuttered.

But I suppose that is the power of love and trust.  Together those two rare and precious gems can accomplish tremendous things.  Even get me to break my rules.  :-)
~DominaKat

Saturday, March 23, 2013

Don't Ruin Christmas

M very much likes to keep me guessing when it comes to the delicious fun He has in store for me.  For a girl that thrives off asking questions, these two things can sometimes run counter to one another.   Last weekend, they did, and my questions came to a complete and abrupt stop when M finally just asked me, "Why are you trying to ruin Christmas?"

Last summer as M and I continued to grow our blooming relationship, I was a teeny bit frustrated one day that He wouldn't really go into details about some upcoming kinkalicious fun.  Of course, I had been on a running streak of questions, as I attempted to understand and learn more about my amazing and deep Dom.  I hungered to know Him not just on the surface but deep.  I wanted to please Him. I wanted to serve as best I could.  However, he had other objectives....  He finally explained to me that because I was essentially untouched by any other Dom - His blank canvas - that I was like Christmas, and every little thing He chose to do with me was like a beautifully wrapped present under the tree.  He wanted us to unwrap each gift slowly so that He could relish every first moment with me.

Damn...I was rendered speechless and nearly brought to tears.  No Man had ever cherished moments like that with me in real time.  No Man had ever looked forward to sharing so much with me.  Few thought beyond the moment to look ahead and value what we would share together.  That conversation, like so many others, has stuck with me.

So back to last night...after I'd asked a kink related question, and M responded with asking why I was trying to ruin Christmas, I felt like a bucket of cold water had just been dropped on my head.  I was so incredibly sad and even a bit hurt.  In my entire life, I've never sought out my gifts.  I was always such a good girl and simply waited patiently for when it was time.  The thought never even occurred to me to go looking.

But here I was...trying to ruin Our Christmas.

I was ashamed.  So very, very ashamed.

My foolish attempts to learn more and to be better for Him were actually taking away from Him.  I caught my breath, I politely apologized, and since that moment I've turned inside to help sort through my confusion and better understand my submission.  As I worked outside in the yard all day, I went through various ups and downs while I went through the tangle in my head to figure out where I've gone wrong.

Part of it is that I'm trying to anticipate His wishes and needs to much.  Things happen because He wants them to happen, when He wants them to happen.  I get that completely.  He leads.  I follow.  His pace.  His direction.  His path.  No matter how much I want to please and serve Him, I simply have to wait for His command and then obey.

You'd think this wouldn't be that hard.

If I was lazy.  It wouldn't be.

And...If I trusted and believed 100% in myself, it probably wouldn't be that hard.

My struggle is that in me is a compelling desire to see a ways up ahead in the journey.  And it's truly very selfish of me.  This desire is born from a number of very negative things that I HAVE to root out of me.

I'm afraid to dream or imagine or hope.  I use to do those things a long time ago, but I stopped because every time it was all for nothing.  But M gave me hope again...I care about tomorrow because I want tomorrow with Him.  But I'm afraid to imagine it all on my own.  I selfishly need Him to hold my hand and show me tomorrow in His eyes, so that I don't feel so alone in dreaming.  What I need to do is simply trust today that He'll be there tomorrow.

I'm afraid to fuck up and of not being good enough.  If I know what the path looks like I'll do whatever possible, so I don't stumble or fall or crash needlessly into M.  I want M to be proud of me.  I want His approval.  M told once fairly recently that one of the things He appreciates most in me is how hard I try.

But now I'm trying too hard.  The truth is - the one piece of logic I have to keep at the front of my
Spock brain - is that no matter what I do, no matter how good I am, if M decides He doesn't want me or doesn't love me anymore it won't matter how good I am.  And even if I do fuck up, if M decides He wants me, loves me, craves me in His life...me stumbling in our journey won't be anything we can't overcome.

So I need to relax.  I need to step back and stop trying so selfishly to calm my worries by asking soooo many questions that don't make a difference in the end because I know I'll enjoy every moment with Him.

I want M to enjoy Our Christmas.

And because I adore that beautiful smile on His face and that rich laugh of His...because I love Him...I'll do my best to enjoy the anticipation.  I KNOW I'll enjoy the presents!!!  ;-P
~DominaKat

Thursday, March 21, 2013

Stolen Heart

He whispered in my ear this morning and stole my heart all over again for the thousandth time.  It never fails to stun me how well and how often our needs echo one another - the physical fire between us, the mental delight and challenge, and the sweet, encompassing love.  I'm getting use to how much I crave Him, but to be wanted and loved so fiercely by Him undoes me.  I'm not sure I'll ever get use to it.

M is such a passionate Man.  When He turns that raw, honest intensity towards me whether in heated lust or deep love, I simply crumble.  I have no defense.  No pride.  No dignity.  I drown in Him.  The woman that rarely ever cried gets completely overwhelmed and sheds helpless tears.  I feel Him wrap so tightly around me.  I breathe Him.  And I find myself feeling safer than I have ever been.  I am protected and cherished.  I've never been loved or wanted as a woman so much in my entire life.  I have never had a Man so strong and sure of me and Us.

In my past I've been accused of being too passionate.  I suppose that's why I've shared my love and myself with so few.  For me, I'm either on or off.  Never luke warm or iffy.  I love hard and deep and strong, or I don't love at all.  That kind of love leaves me incredible vulnerable.  I know.  However, even now at the experienced age of 40, I can only recognize the danger in my vulnerability to Him, but I can't hold myself back with M.  And I shouldn't.  That's the beauty and the risk of D/s.  

M is the first to return that same kind of love freely, and why my heart and soul and my submission are in His hands.
~DominaKat

Tuesday, March 19, 2013

Kat 201

I'm His insatiable Lover in His bed.
Because He piques my interests and challenges me.
I'm His Woman by His side.
Because my Man is patient and makes the effort to see who I really am.

I'm His dirty Slut in His arms.
Because He stokes my hedonistic twisted desires.
I'm His selfless Submissive on her knees.
Because my Dom freed me, tamed me and inspired that gift.

I'm His greedy Fucktoy bound and helpless on the floor.
Because He cherishes my heart and mind.
I'm His sweet, wicked Domina on His arm.
Because my Sir deserves and expects a classy lady.

I'm His vicious Warrior ever at His back.
Because He is worthy of my sincerest respect and fierce loyalty.
I'm His ever-hungry Masochist crumpled at His feet.
Because my Dark Beast deliciously plays with my pain and fucks my mind.

I'm His committed, monogamous Partner in life.
Because He is honest, careful, considerate, and loves true.
I'm His willing, devoted Slave humbly beneath Him.
Because my M is responsible and possesses the strength of character to claim me.

I'm His nasty, fucking Whore under Him.
Because He is a strong, beautiful Man.
I'm His soft, sweet Little Girl snuggled on his lap.
Because my Daddy built the wealth of trust I needed to be that vulnerable.

I'm His obedient Pet content at the end of His leash.
Because He had everything it took to own and nurture me.
I'm simply His always.
Because my Owner won my heart.
~DominaKat

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Final Goodbye

Nope...this post isn't kinky or perverted or even really much fun actually.  In fact maybe it's downright morose I suppose.  And while it is a complete deviation from the narrow, nasty delicious focus this blog of mine has, it still feels right for me to nudge a place for these thoughts here.  The subject lives in the space between the dark side of my soul and the light, and this is my journey through the dark.  Contemplating the end of that journey seems fitting.

What would it be like?  That final goodbye.  When my soul no longer fills this body and moves on to the unescapable next phase.  When my unendingly curious mind finally asks no more questions and instead rests in absolute silence.  When the emotions that fill me to bursting breathe one last breath to the ones I love beyond measure.  What would I want it to be like?

It all started with a vanilla-esque Fet thread in the Music group.  "Ever thought about your own funeral and what it would be like? I did and immediately prepared a tape with three songs, which should be played..."  The OP went on to list their songs and asked what others would choose.  I answered, but the thought persisted.  This post is me unable to resist tugging on the threads that began to unravel once my mind got to going...

The funeral is not meant for me but for those left behind, so I'd want that last bit of form to honor them and what they have meant to me.  Just as in real life, I have no desire for a fan club or hangers on.  I'd want it to be an extremely intimate affair with only those closest to me.  Private and a tad selfish to the last, really.  In truth, if I were to die tomorrow there are only a very special few who I would want invited.  The last Man I gave my heart, M, who taught me how to love again and let me give everyone closest to me more than I had before.  My very, very Best Friend who has been my Hero since the day we met and whose faith and belief in me has never failed.  My absolutely amazing mother and the Man who has loved Her so very well.  My beautiful children who my heart has filled and broken for again and again over the course of their lives.  Chica, whose friendship has given me so much.  My sister (leave your husband and kids at home lol No really...leave them there.) who can't make sense of my life or choices.  My cousin who is like a sister to me.

Yes, I know there are others who would mourn my passing.  For the distant family and friendly acquaintances that care but don't really know me...stay home and take an extra moment to be with those that mean the most to you now because time is fucking precious.  For the many, many others who are no longer in my life for a reason but would want to pay their final respects and honor the memories they once shared with me...honestly, a final "fuck you" to you and hat tip.  lol  You presence isn't necessary at all.  My final goodbye will not be for you.  Our goodbyes are what they were since you had nothing else to say.  How things were left are how they were left.  Live with it.  I did.  Neither I nor those who truly loved me need your careless sorrow or fake condolences.

You see...I live my life every day being honest and straight forward with those around me.  I give my all in those moments.  I give my heart.  I give my soul.  I give everything I had to give.  If that isn't/wasn't enough - if you couldn't appreciate it in the moment - so be it.  You don't deserve a last chance to make things right for your own conscious, especially not in front of those who did love and cherish me without regret.

I'd want a short ceremony.  In the woods on a beautiful sunny day with the hawks flying above.  I'd want a hot, big fire in my honor.  Play Sting's Little Wing as everyone helps to light it like they did my life.  Feed it.  Keep it bright, not to be banked until dawn, so my spirit could dance and laugh one last time with the flames in abandon under the stars and between the trees.  I'd want the words spoken by whoever seems appropriate to be comforting to those I love so much with less emphasis on religion and more on the beauty and energy of life.  Let go of the tears as Brian Culbertson's "Our Love" weaves it's way through air and towards the end when the music really picks up and the string come in...hear my laughter and joy at every wonderful thing we've ever shared.

Unless someone felt they wanted some of my ashes...pour a lil bit in a locket or something...Plant one of those gorgeous shady trees in the woods that bloom a vibrant vivid purple every spring and bury part of my ashes with the roots.  Listen to Phil Collins' "Find a Way to My Heart" and know I truly gave you the best and a part of me has and always will be with you.

Tells stories about me...the good ones please.  :-)  Remember my strengths and my weakness.  Don't forget the little things I may have taught you.  And know without any doubt that I loved all of you hard and well as best I could and that I'll be at your shoulder and probably asking more questions.  lol

The rest of my ashes?  They go to Batman.  He's got to take me on one last ride.  He'll know where and he'll know what to play.  However, ya have to play Macy Gray's Beauty in the World and hear my laugh and giddy thrill as you send me into the wind baby. ~kiss~
~DominaKat

Tuesday, March 5, 2013

Common Sense Advice for Female Subs

The other day my Daddy and my best friend were chatting about crazy, foolish women and the chaos they perpetuate with poor decisions and drama.  At one point, my Daddy was making a statement generalizing that "present company excluded," (Meaning me, which my best friend readily agreed with, and yes, he'd crack on me forever if He thought I was one of the fruitloops running amok.) "they don't use common sense."  Now for those of you few sane women who may be reading this, don't even try to take offense at that statement.  You and I both KNOW when we look around...these bitches are crazy and common sense seems to have flown out the window!  lol  While I don't make the best decisions every damn time, I do get numerous props for just using common sense and logic.  Given that the two wisest Men in the world have given a considerable amount of those props, I'd have to say I'm starting to believe them. That's one of the reasons for this post.  MAYBE it will help someone!

In the last few weeks M (my Daddy) and I have had countless discussions on the...how do I put this delicately???...ummmm...the dumb shit that too many subs wallow in.  (The other reason for this post.)  While He feels sorry for them and their dilema, I - for the most part - don't.

Sorry, chicks.  I don't.  You are grown ass women!  Act like it.  If your chaos can be avoided, why oh why oh WHY should the rest of us feel sorry for your dumb ass?  We shouldn't.  What we should do is treat you like we would our best friend, our sister, or our daughter and tell you to grow the fuck up and act like you have some sense.  In my world, when you care, you keep it real and don't pat someone on the tushie and say "Ooooh poor baby."

Every one of us has entered the lifestyle for all sorts of reasons.  And yes, the thrill and excitement of finally finding the great kinky world of BDSM and kinkolicious fun is tantalizing.  However, when an overzealous sub makes shitty choices and causes chaos because of their frantic, unfulfilled need to submit to any jackass that talks a few lines of halfway decent game, it costs us all.  I mean seriously...not many teenage girls with hormones raging try to date and/or fuck every guy on the football, soccer, baseball, basketball, and debate teams within a single year.  If those girls can use some common sense, so can you women.  Here's a few of my common sense tidbits that come to mind.

Disclaimer:  For those women who have been the victim of a crime or of some serious fucked up unforeseen game running you couldn't have seen in the works, this post is NOT about you.  No one has the right to be violent or abusive, and there are some cruel selfish game players that even the best of us couldn't uncover.

1.  EDUCATE YOURSELF!
This shouldn't have to be explained, but...  Make sure you understand this lovely new place you're exploring.  Would you take a trip to Beijing without at least getting a cursory idea of what you're getting into and a few basic key words under your belt?  There's a couple of great "getting started" forums listed on my profile for those seeking to learn more.

2.  Slow the fuck down.  Waaaaaay down.
Jumping into things with any damn fool who self-identifies as himself as a Dom and tosses you a scrap of attention only means three things.  He doesn't want to be seen as submissive, he had some time to kill, and you have no damn sense.  Being in a D/s dynamic where there exists a power exchange and risky activities like choking, bondage, and beatings with crops, floggers, etc. requires more communication and responsibility than it does to be someone's dinner companion or fuck buddy.  Take the time to get to KNOW one another.  Would you hand a stranger your car keys and say let's go?  Why the fuck would you hand someone you barely know your submission and a crop and say tie me up and beat me?!?

3.  Guard Yourself
Until you've known someone a WHILE, and they've proven themselves in multiple ways at multiple times in multiple areas.
a.  Don't tell them your full name.
b.  Don't give someone your adress.
c.  Don't tell them where you work or what school your kids go to or that your visiting your mom at a specific hospital.
d.  Hell...make them wait a little while before you hand over your phone number.  It is NOT TOO MUCH to expect a little effort into a few emails back and forth.  Not for a Man/Dom who truly is into you, who is not just looking to get His dick wet.  If he's in a rush, move the fuck on.  There is no "RUSH" in any experienced and responsible Dom's repertoire.

4.  Be Honest
First, be honest with yourself!  Figure out what you want and at least get a vague sense as to why.  Do not run around the kinky playground like a chicken with your head cut off.  Search yourself to find what feels good and right with you.

Second...no, being honest isn't in opposition to #3.  You can say, "I'm not comfortable giving out that information, yet."  That communication tells the good Dom where you're at and warns a shitty Dom you aren't a sucker.

5.  PUBLICLY Meet
Meet the first time in a public place where at least one other person knows where, when, who, and why you are meeting.  Have the damn safety call.  If the big bad Dom is offended?  Fuck him.  He's not a Dom. A Dom would be protective of His sub and respect her for being able to handle and protect herself.  He would WANT a sub that makes smart choices, not being a walking talking disaster waiting to happen.

6.  Don't Be Drunk
Really.  Drunkness is not impressive on a first, second, or third meet.  The words "safe, sane, and consensual" are a creed of the well informed and educated lifestylers for a reason.

7.  Don't Submit to a Dom You Don't Know
This isn't prudish, just common sense.  Use the car keys analogy.  You wouldn't hand those to a complete stranger, why hand over your submission.  There's a lot of emotional energy that goes into submitting.  If you carelessly hand that over your submission, you only have yourself to blame if your feelings get hurt.  Don't be careless!  There are douche bags littering the streets of Fet and the lifestyle, but you have to do your part and not pick up the garbage and stuff it in your panties.

8.  Staking Claim
Be reasonable and smart.  If there is a rush to stake claim, RUN.  No reasonable person starts calling someone their boyfriend/girlfriend after one phone call.  Neither should you be calling someone your Dom that quickly.  Oh and by the way...Flipping from one Dom to another every couple weeks or from "single" to "in a relationship" repetitively only shows you and your life are a hot damn mess.  Again...Take the time to get to fucking KNOW one another.  After a reasonable amount of time, after meeting them several times, and after a proven focus and commitment is shown on BOTH your parts, then change your "In a relationship with Oh Great Dom" and "submissive of Mr. Saint Dom" profile attributes.  Until then...chill.

The flip side of this is also a RUN moment.  If after a reasonable amount of time, he's not down with making your relationship knowledge public...if he balks at claiming you...then there's something significantly wrong with things.  If he hides you behind a curtain of mystery, he's either a coward, a liar, or a fake.  But he's definitely NOT your Dom, Owner, or Master.  Even dogs get a name tag, so should you.  If you knowingly are agreeing to be His secret, then do NOT cry and whine over being last on His list of priorities.  If you were a priority, He'd treat and respect you like one.

******

It's late, and I've run out of steam.  That's a start.  If anyone has anymore common sense advice they think should be added, let me know.  I'll happily update tomorrow!  Until then...

Take care of yourselves.  Treat yourself like you want others to treat you.  ~hugs~

Best wishes and happy subbing.
~DominaKat

Sunday, March 3, 2013

Stripped Raw with Humiliation

Yes...with M, I very much enjoy humiliation.  I said it.  A strong, intelligent, vocal, opinionated woman confesses to and embraces being debased, embarrassed  and shamed by her loving partner.  Humiliation is admittedly one of our darker and harsher kinks, yet I bask in it like a goddess to her God and cower beneath it like a victim to her lifelong Captor.  It is truly the mindfuck to end all mindfucks, and I fucking love it.

I only began to experience the thrill and beauty (yes...beauty!) of humiliation in the last year.  As my relationship with M grew and He slowly led me down this path, I found the dark edge - the madness - I'd searched so long to share with another.  However, more than any other kink, I struggled to understand where the strong psychological appeal was born from within me...the why.  For a long time, I couldn't answer that question and simply privately enjoyed the journey.  It has only been since the end of last year that I have finally been able to articulate the attraction and thrill.

I am stripped raw before Him.  Of every guard.  Every bit of buffer.  Every scrap of protection.  When M drowns me in humiliation, I am completely naked mentally and emotionally for Him.  His power over me in these moments is absolute, like vines penetrating my soul and weaving between the threads of me.  I am so viciously open that I am both helpless and invincible.  He sees all that I am.  The good.  The bad.  The unapologetically filthy and twisted.  There is nothing hidden from Him.  I am truly, blessedly free to be all that I am.  His acceptance and even pure delight at my vulnerability and humiliation let's me wallow in our darkness in unrepentant shame, embarrassment, helplessness and blissful submission.

No...His humiliation is not meant to destroy my soul nor is it emotional abuse.  Is a spanking or flogging physical abuse?  Impact play, the pain, and the cleansing it brings is the physical equivalent of mental and emotional humiliation.  Humbling myself to His verbal cruelty or to kneel under the hot stream of His piss shatters every bit of pride and frees me of all societal bonds.  At once, I am nothing and everything.

I've never been stripped so raw for another human being in my life as I am for M.  I trust Him completely, and the light side of our relationship burns hot and bright.  That strong foundation of trust and light is what allows us to indulge so deeply in this dark, twisted kink.  I would never risk it with anyone else.  With Him, in these moments of stark vulnerability, I am safe.  He is extremely conscious of how vulnerable I am and never seeks to permanently damage His pet.  Though His cruelty and debasement is all I feel in the moment, I know how much He honors and cherishes the depths of my submission.  He is my safety net.  He is my guardian.  He is my salvation.  When He tears me down, all that I have is Him.  As I submit to His torment, His sole focus focus is on me.  There is an undeniable harsh purity between us.  ~whimper~  The intimacy within these moments is earth-shattering and binds us together so tightly that the memories will live on forever.  Dancing together in this hot flame, His Beast roars and claims what is and always will be His.
~DominaKat

The Brutal Path to Darkness

First thing this morning, He lead me to into the dark.  I wasn't expecting it.  Maybe it was because I had been a bit careless.  Maybe He thought I needed to be reminded of my place.  Without warning, He shut the door and took me to Our darkness.

The sudden loss of light was welcome but almost unfamiliar.  I struggled to adapt.  I was disoriented.  His hold on my leash wasn't tight enough for me to center myself.  I clumsily stumbled.  I'd momentarily find my direction, only to be utterly lost with the next breath.  I fitfully kept trying.  Again.  And again.  I sought a path to obedience.  I couldn't find my way.  To my submission.  To my place.  To Him.  When he disgustedly ordered me to "just stop and leave it alone."  I was forced to face the ugly foreign reality.  I'd failed.  I had failed Him completely.

Shame overwhelmed me.  Fear clawed at me.  Sobs shook me violently as I curled into myself in humiliation and horrible stark emptiness.  My brutal failure tore through me like a jagged dull knife.  A shattered helpless heap, I felt so alone and unworthy my bones ached.

"Crying is what stupid cunts do. I want you to lay there and think about just how stupid and worthless you are, cunt."  His verbal kick tormented me.  Hot tears streaked down my face.

Apologies tumbled humbly from my lips.  "I'm so sorry.  Please forgive me..."  I crawled toward His ridicule.  "I need you, Sir.  Please..."

"So pathetic."  His cold voice and harsh words raked over my empty soul.  With every phrase, I gave in further, begged harder, slithered closer to the deep unyielding madness I so craved.

I was drowning in my need for Him.  "I am stupid and worthless and fucking helpless without you."

"Yes, you are.  My voice, my hand, my touch are the only things your body will respond to, aren't they meat?"

"Yes, Sir,"  I whimpered following His voice deeper into darkness.  "I need you, Sir," I begged, completely broken.  "You are my beginning and end.  I am just a stupid mindless toy for my Owner to play with.  Use."  My tears spilled and splattered across my breasts as I crawled toward the only One that could save me.  A gripping heat once again coiled in my cunt.

"You're stupid and useless," He barked at me.  "You need me to lead you.  You need my leash to keep you steady and moving forward."  I crumpled at His feet.  Curled shamelessly below Him, I clung to His dominance and cruelty.  My tears fell on His hard boots as He looked down on His pathetic toy.

Brokenly I continued my pleas, hoping for forgiveness.  "Yes, I need your touch and your words to feel.  I am nothing without you, Sir."

"That's right.  Without me you are nothing."  One foot lifted and was placed at my neck, holding me down to the cold floor.  I trembled in my dark submission.  The heavy folds of my cunt became slick with my shame.  "You are completely dependent on me."

"Oh yes, Sir, I need you to breathe," I whispered.  "Only you can make me come alive.  Only you understand the twisted darkness I need to feel.  Only you.  You are the reason I wake up.  You are the reason I live.  To be yours.  I was born for you."

"That's the truth of everything," He stated coldly between clenched teeth.  I panted like a dog in response.

"I will do anything for you.  Suffer through anything for you," I cried brokenly.  "I am yours, M.  Completely.  Helplessly.  Yours.  My place is under you."

His growl was my only reply.  I shivered in fear and need.  I wanted so desperately to please my Beast.  "Please Sir.  May I try again to obey?  I want to make up for my utter pathetic failure."

"Do it, stupid." He demanded as He lifted His boot.  "But fail again and you can forget it for awhile."

I frantically scurried to my back with my fat ass between His boots,  I spread my legs wrapping them around His calves,  I was open to Him in the most vulnerable of ways.  I pulled my cunt lips wide, exposing myself further.  Though completely untouched, in seconds I began to cum endlessly like the pathetic dog I was as He watched me embrace my place below Him.  He growled deep at my submission.  The arch of my shameful orgasm splattered across my thighs and to the unyielding floor.  I poured for Him like a whorish fountain.  Long minutes He watched me wither and groan beneath Him in wet lust responding simply to His heavy hand and brutal mental cruelty.  As the waves of my orgasm finally ebbed, He stood and walked away with only one final parting phrase,  "That's a good dog."

Left helplessly in the messy pooling puddle of my hot cum, I faced the harsh vicious truth.  Only M and the Beast dwelling inside Him would ever inspire my abject and total submission.  Only His unrestrained darkness would ever quench the thirst I'd always held in my soul.  His brutal path to darkness was both my destruction and my salvation.  My freedom and His are found in the heady addictive blend of Our sweet light and the madness of Our dark.  He is my Alpha and Omega.
~DominaKat